Friday, May 18

Page 16 Reflections

Tricky, here! Scavhunt 2012! This was the year of the event, and man, was I run down by the end. Maybe Scav Judging's a young man's game, but anyone who still had even 5% left on their health meter by the end of this hunt should take a well-deserved A. Bow, B. Nap, and C. Bottle of Day-Quil. Anyways, congratulations to Snitchcock for their close victory, the cabal for putting this whole thing together, our university liasons, and, of course, all scavvies everywhere. I hope it was fun! Anyways, as per tradition, here are a couple of notes on Page 16 which contained the bulk of my items, as well as a few miscellaneous observations.

293. Render a group portrait of the current Supreme Court, one justice represented in each of the following styles: manga, Mii, Ralph Steadman, H.R. Giger, Jules Fei↵er, Raymond Briggs, Matt Groening, Jack Kirby, Al Hirschfeld. [9 points]

Notes: In the interest of full disclosure, I should mention that it was Judge Ezra who came up with the basic concept for this one during a cabal “Write an item in the style of another judge” challenge. Actually, it was meant to be in Judge Sarah's style (because of the law school connection), but I assumed it was me since I can't seem to go one year without an item with a huge list tacked on to the end.

Best Completion: Don't know how useful the “best completion” notes are going to be this year, because nearly all of my items were either excellently done or not even attempted. Is it true that someone on Twitter offered to purchase the really good ones? Because that's smart. Trust me, it's a buyer's market when it comes to quality multi-stylistic Supreme Court portraits at the moment. Be sure to look for the NINAs!

275. Up at the Law School they work all day. Out in the sun they slave away. Couldn’t they use the distraction of mermaids in their fountain? [8 points]

Notes: I really didn't know that the fountain had been reduced to a half inch of water when I wrote this. That just made the item better!

Best Completion: All teams that did it were wonderful (and I hope they got to it before the rain/temperature drop on Saturday). Have to give the slightest of edges to Carolyn from Max P, who found that awesome red Ariel wig. Pretty girls doing cosplay truly doesn't grant any additional favor in my judging, but brother, it don't hurt.

276. SCAV TEAM MEMBER–MIP. Carded bubble packaging for your team’s official action figure, complete with accessories, and filecard bio. Also, the figure this package is for should be life-size. [18 points]

Notes: This one came for a collection of photos taken at Comic-Con, which I saw online. Please note that the item does not require an actual life-sized figure, the hope being that teams would make it easy for an actual person to act as the figure and get their photo snapped.

Best Completion: Very pleased with how these turned out. Snitchcock's was definitely the most polished construction-wise, BJ had some awesome accessories, and MacPierce had that Pac Man mask, which probably was their team's Most Valuable Player this year. Of course, I do have express appreciation for Max P, whose packaging had, at most, three inches of space between the plastic and the cardboard, and yet still was able to wriggle a poor first year in there for the presentation. That was fun.

278. A branding iron of the UChicago seal. No points will be given for testing on a living creature, but if you want to sear us up a mighty fine steak, we can get on board with that. [16 points]

Best Completion: I'd like to say that all of these couldn't have been better, but that wouldn't be strictly true since I wasn't fed any steak. Yeah, you demonstrated that the item worked, but you couldn't have kept it going to medium rare, thrown on some Dale's, a few mushrooms, some onions, maybe a couple shrimp on the barby? You guys have completely forgotten how to effectively bribe a judge.

281. Make a huge racket. [15-love points. 5 bonus points for serving and returning a proportionally large tennis ball with another team]

Notes: This was definitely an old-school kind of item, being A. A pun, B. A large version of a normal item, and C. Something definitely ill-advised to wave around indoors. I think when I tested South Campus's, I knocked the hat off their gnome king. So uh, if there's locusts next week, that was me, my bad.

Best Completion: BJ and Macpierce had the only match of the hunt, done outside in the rain Saturday night. I shouldn't have to tell you that it was awesome. In the end, though, BJ's greater maneuverability took the game, set, and match. On the other hand, when I judged Blintsone, they let me have a Random Encounter by tossing their suspiciously balloon-like Malboro at theirs, which the player smacked across the room right into a trash can. That's what I call a One Hit KO, baby!

283. Stuff and mount the head of a Goomba, a Malboro, a Hard Hat, and a Zombine. [16 points]

Notes: These are enemies from Mario Brothers, Final Fantasy, MegaMan, and Half-Life, respectively. Hope Gabe Newell appreciated the shout out, Team GASH. You should've given my Mom a sentry.

Best Completion: Damn these were good. The Goomba's had some pretty across the board quality, as did the Zombines. But, by the thinest of margins, GASH put together an awesome Malboro, and BJ's Hard Hat was absolutely top notch. These had better all be on someone's wall somewhere. Don't make me regret not being the “I'M TAKING ALL THESE ITEMS HOME WITH ME!!!!” judge.

284. The other 361 days of the year, we don’t have Scav, but we could use an incredible simulation. Holophonically record and upload a compilation of the best sounds of the Hunt that, when we close our eyes and put in the earbuds, will put that Virtual Haircut thing to shame. [6 points]

Notes: The Virtual Haircut referred to in the item can be found at . Well worth a listen.

Best Completion: This was the kind of item where I expected to be more impressed at the teams completing it, rather than the actual quality of the completion, but actually these were a lot of fun to listen to. Snitchcock probably had the best use of the holophonic technology (walking a drill around the speakers, moving a banging hammer from left to right), but I also kind of dug the teams that just left the microphones going for the uncut Scav experience. Also, apparently the uncut Scav experience involves dudes being yelled at to get their pants on, which occurred in three separate completions. I would suspect coordination, but I think we all know better.

286. An edible balloon. Must float. [22 points]

Best Completion: BJ managed to finagle their way into reservations at Alinea Restaraunt which apparently serves these, and I was THIS CLOSE to getting to go along with them. Not that I'm bitter or anything. Other teams resorted to pumping helium into bubble gum or, in at least one case, threatening to gnaw through a sheepskin condom. Oh well. I promise BJ, I'll let you buy dinner for me at a 4-Star restaurant soon enough.

287. The ToyOtterTM came up with all sorts of ideas for moichendizing that saga of a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Sadly, none ever were put into production until now. Make one of Jason Geyer’s ideas come alive. Points will be awarded based on the unrealized product chosen. For instance, expect higher points for the R2-D2 Portable Wet Bar than for the Land Speeder Koozie. [up to 20 points]

Notes: If you haven't looked through these yet, you really deserve to. Some are more clever than others, but I still want a Death Star basketball, dammit:

Best Completion: Max P made me the R2D2 Wet Bar, and even if it was clearly a converted mini-fridge it was still pretty cool. Also got a couple of foosball tables, of which Breck's was probably the best, both for it's solid construction and inclusion of Kit Fisto. (In other news, the Star Wars saga canonically involves a guy named “Fisto” in a supporting role.) The winner though had to be MacPierce's life-sized Jabba body pillow. That thing had better be a fixture in some house lounge for the next decade.

288. At Judgment, escape from a pair of UCPD handcuffs. We’ll provide the restraints. [9.11 points]

Notes: Yeah, this one was a bit of a Cluster-Eff. First, I proposed it without knowing the UCPD used zip-tie for restraints. Also, apparently, neither did everyone else, so we had people practicing their hand-cuff picking during the hunt, then being very disappointed that they wouldn't get to show off. Then the duct-tape I was required to put on to protect people's wrists so reinforced tensile strength that brute forcing them were a snap. Oy. Can't win em all.

Best Completion: Snitchcock, who refused the duct-tape, and then continued on to attempt their escape even after it had become apparent that the tie was attached too tightly, and I was willing to give them full points for judge error. “DAMN FOOLISH PRIDE! DAMN FOOLISH PRIDE! DAMN FOOLISH PRIDE!” was one of my favorite chants of the weekend.

289. Here's some Disney Afternoon irony for ya: A Gummi Bear mosaic of Winnie the Pooh! [7 Points]

Notes: Were current undergrads even alive when the Disney Afternoon was still on the air? I'd hate to think the current generation has only limited knowledge of the Rescue Rangers or Gargoyles.

Best Completion: South Campus had one that was truly demonic looking. Like “I just ate Christopher Robin, and now I'm coming after you too”. High comedy.

All right! On to the 2013 Hunt! I'll come back, if you come back! Peace!

Please share, and comments are always welcome!


  1. I do have to say that the Supreme Court Item was this year's "You fuckers deserve stick figures" item for me. The effort to replicate 9 diverse styles and 9 people is massive, and only 9 total points is just a cruel joke.

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  3. Well, then the teams here definitely didn't get the memo, because every one of these I got was awesome, even those in the "Pencil on Burger King Placemat" medium. If 9 points + "Gratia Artis" was a cruel joke, then man, call me Jude Finesterra.

    (Also, that is officially the most obscure joke I will make in reference to the 2012 hunt, only slightly out-pacing referring to someone as the "Gaëtan Dugas of ScavenPlague" and my incessant singing of the Gator Golf theme song at the Scav Feast.)

  4. Tricky, I wish I had been their for the tennis match and for the giant action figure packages. Somehow I missed that one entirely! I will be on the look for photos.